A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said,
“Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your trousers,” she said. “That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family.”
With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.” He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. “Hell,” he said. ”I can’t get into your panties!”
She replied, “That’s right, and that’s the way its going to stay until your attitude changes.”

Zo’n drukke dag dat jullie het vandaag moeten doen met een mopje, maar er zit wel een zeer bijpassend muziekje bij dus even klikken op het plaatje (sorry heren, maar vandaag zijn de dames toch echt slimmer)

Fijn weekend

A man and a woman are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says: “So you’re a man; that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
Flattered, the man replied:“Oh yes, I agree with you completely! This must be a sign from God!”
The woman continued: “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks: “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies: “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”